“Your child has bitten another girl today at class.” A common and regular complaint that parents of toddlers are often faced with. It does get embracing and our immediate reaction is to discipline the child at that very moment. But have we ever wondered why they end up doing so?
Biting is a normal part of childhood development, explained Mrs. Rana child psychologist and consultant with top playschools in North Delhi. Children bite for many various reasons, from teething ,not so developed language skills, feeling overwhelmed, to seek attention , need for activity or simply to provoke . They probably do not understand the gravity of their act. It’s a phase and they eventually outgrow, shared Mr. Nair grandfather to a 3year old studying at renowned preschool in North Delhi.
Knowing these reasons does come handy to anticipate situations, however not all situations can be anticipated. Here are a few suggested tips from experts to help parents and children during this phase:
1. Language skills – Help your child to put their feelings in words. Support them to develop their language skills. Talk to the child continuously. Put his actions/expressions into words and share with him. Confirm your words with them. This not just helps you to understand the child in turn he /she are able to grasp to the words that expressed his /her action. Repeat these words with them. Don’t speak in big sentences. Let them be small and crisp. Gradually go on to bigger sentences.
2. Time: Give your child enough of your time throughout the day. Read, play or just talk. Mind distracted and they won’t bite in order to seek your attention. The child feels loved and secured. The child needs to be moved on to other activities. It will be a good idea to ask the child whether he wants to play or draw, thus helping him make a choice and be in control. Find ways to keep the child busy and distracted.
3.Avoid: Ensure that the child is not hungry and has had a sound sleep too. Avoid situations in which your child can get irritable enough to bite. If your baby is teething, carry the teething ring. Always carry their favourite snack. They act as a distraction too. In case you notice the child is getting tired, don’t force them to stay awake. Cuddle him/her in your arms. It would surely calm the child.
4.Sharing: All children are possessive. The sense of ownership, “its mine” is very strong. As parents it’s important to teach the child the important lesson of sharing. The habit of sharing, waiting for ones turns needs to be inculcated in the child.
5. Arm your child: The child doesn’t understand the word anger. He / she are equally confused when they display this emotion. Help the child deal with this emotion. Have your own secret way to release this emotion in a constructive manner. Jumping up and down, doodling, running- you could suggest appropriate ways to the child to release his anger. There is nothing wrong in being angry, but under why is he/she facing this emotion and try to channelize it in the right way.
6.You: As important it is to control the child, you too as a parent need to control your feelings. It is frustrating, however the most important thing to do is to keep your own feelings in check. Be calm .Its difficult we can understand but it is never a good idea to respond in your own disturbed state. Rebuking thee child is not a good idea. Physical punishment is an absolute no. But you need to tell them that it hurts when bitten. “No biting, biting hurts “ said in a firm tone will help pass a clear message to the child and will be far more effective than having long conversations about the effects of biting, explained Ms.Puja who encounters many such incidence in her day care centre and playschool at North Delhi. Mrs. Iyer educationist shared commonly few parents believe that if your child bites you, bite your child back. This isn't good advice. Children learn by imitation, so the child feels it’s an acceptable behavior and may continue to do it again.
Biting is a common behavior among children younger than 3 years of age. The good news is that most children give up this habit thereafter. The trick till such time is being calm and patient.
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